And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 NLT

This is one of my favorite verses of all time.  The reason it is such a blessing to me is because it states the promise that God will work on my behalf behind the scenes when I ask.  In my life, it seems like everyone else in the world is working against me, it is nice to know God is working for me.

This promise does have several conditions though…

Four components of Romans 8:28:

• A knowing…or in other words you have to have confidence in not only God’s ability, but His’ desire to work on your behalf
• Understand that God is working on our behalf behind the scenes where you can not always see (that is why we have to have faith)
• A real love of God…the Bible says if you love God you will keep His’ commands
• Be called according to His’ purposes…God’s has a plan for this world, His’ church and people and you have to seek His purpose for your life not do your will and ask God to bless it

As you will find often in scripture, God has wonderful promises for Christian believers, but you do have to do it God’s way.

To make this really work answer these questions by yourself, then go back and compare them with your fiancée.  Be ready for a long night, because these may seem simple and easy, but they unpack quickly.  The very one that seems like a slam dunk may become an unnavigable mountain.  Answer them now, or fight about them later.

Questions Before Marriage

Would your family support your choice to marry?

Is there anyone in either of your families that disagree with your marriage?

How many children do you want?

When do you want to start having children?

Who will take care of the children during the day?

What hobbies do you plan on keeping up with?

What kinds of past friendships do you plan on maintaining?

What religion will you be?

How will you raise your children in respect to religion?

Who will handle the money?

How many checkbooks do you plan on having?

While both are workings whose money is whose?

Will you rent or buy?

Where do you want to live?

What will you name your children?

Will you have pets?

What kind of school will your children attend?

How will you work out disagreements?

Who will work?

Who will stay home?

Who will do what chores?

What is the role of the husband?

What is the role of the wife?

What is your political party?

Will you buy a car?

What are your major goals and dreams in life?

Where will you spend holidays?

What family traditions do each of you want to carry on with your children?

Are there any quirks your future spouse has that you want to change?

As a pastor, I am asked to perform a lot of weddings.  Everyone wants to see my vows, so I am publishing them here on my blog so there is an easy way to access them.  The vows are very important and are tied to all the principles that make marriage work.

It is even great for old married folks like me to review these and see what we vowed many years (25 and counting for me) ago ourselves.

Vows

Pastor: In a moment I am going to ask both of you to make vows to each other.

The wedding vows are very important.  I am going to ask you to take an oath before God and these witnesses today.  I am challenging you to promise to be:

· Faithful and true to each other

· Along with all your worldly goods,

· In sickness and in health,

· In poverty or in wealth,

· Until death do you part

I want you to make a decision today to nurture this relationship where you may have years of happiness together.

To Groom—-

Pastor: __________, do you take __________

(Groom)                                              (Bride)

To be your lawfully wedding wife?  Your response is?

Then turn to her and make this profession of your faith—

I, __________ take you __________

(Groom)                                   (Bride)

· To be my lawfully wedded wife and my closest friend,

· My faithful partner in life and my one true love.

· I give to you my sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful husband,

· In sickness and in health,

· In joy and in sorrow,

· To always be open and honest with you.

· I promise to love you without reservation,

· And cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage

1. Change your mind, change your marriage.
2. Happiness is not the most important thing.
3. Couples discover the value in just showing up.
4. If you do what you always do, you will get the same result.
5. Your attitude does matter.
6. The grass is greenest where you water it.
7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself.
8. Love is a verb, not just a feeling.
9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears.
10. A crisis doesn’t always mean the marriage is over.

Let’s all get to work on making our marriages like a slice of heaven on earth.

Yes, it is OK to fight in a family as long as you establish some rules.  There is a fair and unfair way to fight in families and it is up to the parents to set these guidelines and enforce them.   As of this posting we have them hanging on our refrigerator.  We even devoted a (or several) family meetings to them.  Here they are.

1. Listen and try to understand where others are coming from.
2. Avoid yelling, verbal threats, or abuse (keep it ramped down).
3. Maintain a honoring, respectful and loving atmosphere.
4. No name-calling.
5. Use an open communication style.
6. Keep the focus off the person’s character.
7. Don’t bring in past “garbage.”
8. No violence.
9. Avoid accusatory language (e.g., “You never…You always…”).
10. Only one person talks at a time.

I’ve added some biblical principles here too:

1. If you break one of the rules apologize with a sincere, “I’m sorry.”
2. The party being apologized to should reply with a sincere, “I forgive you.”
3. Deal with the issue before the end of the day, never sweep an issue under the rug.
4. After trying to resolve an issue face to face unsuccessfully, bring in a third party to mediate.
5. Always pray before you try to resolve something, it will often soften hearts along the way.

Happy fighting.

Dear Heavenly Father, I believe that You gave your only son Jesus to die on the cross for my sins and

that you raised Jesus from the dead on the third day and that He is sitting on the throne next to you.

I admit that I am a sinner, I believe that you are knocking at the door of my heart and I am opening

that door to you right now.  Come and live inside my heart, take the old me away and make me a

brand new person.  I am confessing Jesus as my lord and savior…Amen

It is a group of Bible verses from the book of Romans in the New Testament.  If you walk down this road you will end up understanding how to be saved.

Romans 3:23  “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

We all have sin in our hearts. We all were born with sin.

We were born under the power of sin’s control.

- Admit that you are a sinner.

Romans 6:23a  “…The wages of sin is death…”

Sin has an ending.  It results in death.  We all face physical death, which is a result of sin.  But a worse death is spiritual death that alienates us from God, and will last for all eternity.  The Bible teaches that there is a place called the Lake of Fire where lost people will be in torment forever.   It is the place where people who are spiritually dead will remain.

- Understand that you deserve death for your sin.

Romans 6:23b  “…But the gift of God is eternal

life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Salvation is a free gift from God to you!  You can’t

earn this gift, but you must reach out and receive it.

- Ask God to forgive you and save you.

Romans 5:8,  “God demonstrates His own love for us, in

that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!”

When Jesus died on the cross He paid sin’s penalty. He paid the price for all sin, and when He took all the sins of the world on Himself on the cross, He bought us out of slavery to sin and death! The only condition is that we believe in Him and what He has done for us, understanding that  we are now joined with Him, and that He is our life.  He did all this because He loved us and gave Himself for us!

- Give your life to God… His love poured out in Jesus on the cross is your only hope to have forgiveness and change.  His love bought you out of being a slave to sin.  His love is what saves you —  not religion, or church membership.  God loves you!

Romans 10:13  “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved!”

- Call out to God in the name of Jesus!

Romans 10:9,10  “…If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting  in salvation.”

- If you know that God is knocking on your heart’s door,

ask  Him to come into your heart.!

Jesus said,

Revelation 3:20a “Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him…”

Is Jesus knocking on your heart’s door?

Question 1 – Have you come to the point in your spiritual life where you know for certain that if you were to die today you would go to heaven or is that something you would say you’re still working on?

Question 2 – Suppose you were to die today and stand before God and He were to say to you, “Why should I let you into My heaven?” what would you say?

So here they are:

1.  Be a productive member of a local church all of your life. Without godly people inputing into your life, you are left with the television being the value promoting agent.  Plus, everyone needs a place to serve others with the church being the only organization ordained by God other than the family.

2.  Marry a Christian spouse who is “equally yoked.” After talking to hundreds of divorced people they tell me the worst mistake they ever made in their life was marrying someone who was not equally yoked according to the Bible.  Either they were not a Christian, a Christian in social aspects only, or they just wanted to do the bare minimums as a Christian believer.  In each instance, the marriage failed because the most important ingredients of a healthy marriage just were not there.

3.  Finish college or equivalent trade school. With training, most people can get a job that will support their family.

4.  Learn to listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance. This one was added lastly after seeing people who are doing all of the above but still making bad life decisions.  Learning to follow the Holy Spirit may be the most important but is a process we must do become

You may ask how I plan on encouraging my kids to adopt these goals?  Well first, I do my best to follow them myself, and secondly, and I just talk to them about these all the time.

When my book comes out in a few years I will

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